Imagine not being able to grasp anything with your hands. Imagine that you have no thumb. Weird, hunh? Well, I had a taste of what those kings in the book of Judges (or Kings, not sure) had to deal with when their thumbs were cut off. I had been to Subway with a couple of friends and when I exited the car, Sarah slammed the car door... On my right thumb!! That was painful and I couldn't use it the rest of the day. Thank goodness that ice helps. It was an interesting experience. It's amazing how much you actually use your thumb.

Our Mark teacher gave us a new sylabus (two or one 'l'?) today that covers the rest of the term. Turns out that we don't have to give an oral presentation but that the 4-5 page paper is going to be in sermon format. What's nice is that he's going to assign the text. That's going to make things a whole lot easier. I can't wait to get it done. It, my persuasion speech, and the usual Greek stuff, are the main worries in my life right now. Yay!

Almost done with term. 3 weeks and then I get to take a week or so off. That's going to feel soooo good!

I'm coming out of the valley slowly. I found myself irritated at Yakov (fake name to protect the not-so-innocent) today. It's actually rather trivial, but I found myself seething all afternoon about it. I'll need to talk to him, pro'lly tomorrow, about setting some guidelines about using the room and etc. It irritated me more that I had been in a good mood, getting ready to get homework done and then this thing happened. Since I've had a hard time actually being in a good mood, it makes me doubly mad. Oh well, it'll be taken care of.

Wonder when my T-Mobile bill will come...

This is interesting. It's a personality test that a phsycologist put together. It's used in one of our classes here and since Jamie is in that class, Isaac and I have been interested in it. So I took it. Very interesting...

People I need to get in touch with:
email - Martha
Aleshia
Grandma R.

phone
Samuel
John E.
Curt J.
Melissa

thinking that I should do some sort of homework but I'm in an odd mood of boredom/relaxation that won't allow for constructive thought.
chores that need to be done The 4 weeks worth of laundry that's sitting in my closet. (hey, when you have enough tee shirts to last that long...) *grins*
latest project is to work on Levi's computer and get it working.

It worked! The sn and pw went through! Thanks, Court!

Several new posts... So you can start way down there and read up.

I'm coming to a realization about myself and the way I relate to friends. The other day I called my friend in Canada and we had a long conversation about the struggles I'm going through and the way I'm relating to friends. My eyes were opened on a couple points. 1. God has given me an ability to love and to be able to help friends - when those friends are helped and go on with their lives I don't need to reach after them and try to keep them close. 2. Being a friend is great, but in order to be a better friend I need to have my eyes upon Christ.

It's me. I have to deal with my issues and trust God.

let's see if this works

I watched a really cool movie last night. A Beautiful Mind. It's about this guy who's a genius and who can solve problems like a piece of cake. He's rather reclusive and is recruited to find a code in magazines. It's scary sometimes, but it really makes you think. Oh and it's based on a true story.

I'm feeling a bit better now. I had a good talk with my friend in Canada and we prayed about the issues I'm going through.

My friends sent me a Party in a Box! *grins* Complete with Crepe paper, Balloons, and an over the hill candle. I also got My Utmost For His Highest, A Greek/Latin Bible, and Maire Brennan's Whisper to the Wild Water. Not to mention a GI Joe!

Midterms haven't been too hard so far. Greek went well, Intro to Computers was a piece of Cake, and Mark was not as difficult as I thought it might be. Now I just have to concentrate on the homework.

I'm feeling very down lately. Part of it is the fact that I'm getting very little sleep and I'm also not getting to my devotions. It stinks. I really, really want to chat with someone, but the few people that I'd trust enough to be able to pur my heart out to are busy with other things. My friend - who I'd probably call my best friend - has withdrawn from me lately and is totally wrapped up in his own life. I don't blame him much, 'cause he's got a good girlfriend. I tried to talk to him the other day about my struggles and he didn't respond and I let the convo die. It's driving me crazy 'cause the other friend who I would be able to confide in is across the country and it costs to call him. *sigh*

Oh well, enough of the self-pity. Time to go do some homework.

I wrote this last night while listening to music:

Hello Lord Lyrics

Hello Lord, it's me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute, cuz
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing
But right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

And somewhere in the back of my mind
I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord, I will wait to hear from you
Oh Lord, I'm waiting on you

Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up

I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I think you're whispering

This song is appropriate right now. I'm feeling a bit lost and not hearing God. Wat. Wating is so hard. Why must I wait? Why can't I always hear You?

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me on magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after You

To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your dicsiple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you, my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for my life
To know and follow hard after you
To know and follow hard after you
To grow as your disciple in the truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you

Lord to know and follow hard after you
And to grow as your disciple in your truth
This world is empty, pale, and poor
Compared to knowing you my Lord
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you

But I press on. I want passion. I want to be obsessed with God. I want to know and follow after You. I want to Grow!

I just spent the afternoon in the library working on my paper. Mostly research though last night I did get something of an outline. Going to go back up there after I'm done here in the computer lab and then spend that hour getting some more research done. Then tomorrow after classes, I'm going to go and finish it. All afternoon and probably evening. Hopefully I won't have to pull an all nighter.

Currently:

listening to - The Christian Hip-hop radio list at www.soundclick.com.
thinking - Nothing too deep actually. thinking that I really need to stop eating.
feeling - kinda blah. last week was really negetive and this week started off good, but I'm fight negetive thoughts and feelings.
wearing - Black shoes, white socks, blue cargo jeans, black hoodie (courtesy of Jason R.) and a Ketchikan tee-shirt.
current project - Gotta get Mr. Rick's computer up. It's probably sucked 20+ hours out of Brandon and I...

Oh, please pray for Mr. Rick. His Ranger got busted into and his briefcase with 19 years worth of teaching notes was stolen. Also, he had $2000 worth of fishing equiptment that dissappeared as well. Tough weekend for him.

Alright, where's the beer!? I'm 21 and rarin' for some alcohol!


*grins*

Yeah, just kidding!

However, today is my 21st birthday and I'm amazed that I'm actually this age. Makes me wonder how so many years have gone by... Seems like just yesterday that I turned 18...

A couple pictures from that day...





Going to go to a Bible study at 7 and then meet some friends at Shari's around 9ish. Should be a ton of fun!