I read my friend's bloggers and I'm constantly reminded of the fact that I'm not a fast thinker, typer, and that my sentences just don't flow like theirs. *sniffs* Communication has always been hard for me. I don't think in complete thoughts, but form phrases and words as I go. That's why writing papers is hard for me. I have good thoughts and good things to say, but to form them into words and sentences is hard. That's why I've given up on debates; the words I try to type don't get my full meaning across. I get misunderstood and I just can't get what I want to across.

That said...

I'm going home for the weekend. I'm going to leave class early and go pick my Grandma up from the airport. Then we'll travel to Madras and get to see my brother graduate tomorrow. It'll be a lot of fun. I haven't seen my relatives for a very long time and I'm excited. I'm also glad to be able to go home and spend just a little time in a different environment than the dorms.

Jen found this and thought it was appropriate for me. I agree. Now if the neighbor's clothes just fit...

Word of the Day

tarradiddle \tair-uh-DID-uhl\, noun:
1. A petty falsehood; a fib.
2. Pretentious nonsense.


Make sure you don't tell any tarradiddles today!

Well, I figure that I should say something about today...

I got a scholarship at the Honors Assembly. $450. God's slowly but surely building my funds up for next year. If I can buckle down to it, there are a few scholarships out there that I might be able to apply for. They require accreditation and essay writing though. EBC is accredited, but only through some Bible College accreditation committee. They're working on regular accredidation, but so far it looks like a long haul. I need to ask Rulena about these scholarships and whether they'd work here. The essay writing is hard for me. I have yet to really want to write an essay and to sit down and do it is a pain.

It was nice to see people get recognition for their hard work. I think, not sure, I was just a few hundreths off from getting the second prize for academic profession. Gives me something to work for.

First off - Thanks to those of you who have sent me encouragment. It means a lot to me to know that I have friends who care and who are praying for me.

Second - I'm still sick. Had a really bad earache Thursday night and my ears have been plugged all week long. I've been considering going to doctor, but funds are tight. I talked to Dad today and he thought that I should get some stuff from Walmart and take that for about a week and see if it helps. So that's what I'm going to do.

Third - I emailed a bunch of people on Friday and everyone responded! *laughs* Now I have to write them and I've lost the inspiration. Don't worry, I'll get it back!

Fourth - I can't wait until Memorial Day weekend! I'm thinking that it's going to be a lot of fun. Why? Well, David's graduating and both grandmas will be there as well as other relatives. I'm happy that I'm going to be able to go!

Fifth - I really need to call Samuel.

Sixth - I'm done now.

Quote from Josh's niece Abby today when asked who I was: A bear.

Roy was able to work on my car yesterday. He got the water pump installed and ready for me, but one of the belts needed replacing. So I went to schucks and bought a belt today and he installed that this evening. Problem is that my battery went dead in the month that it has been sitting in the parking lot. Roy took it down to the shop to charge over night and we'll see how it works tomorrow. Hopefully it'll be working by Saturday and I'll have my car again!!!

I'm going to The U of O's production of Much Ado About Nothing tomorrow evening. A group of us from Lit class were interested in it and Miss K. got tickets for us. I'm really looking forward to it, 'cause I've never seen a Shakespeare play in person. I've watched a few of the movies and read a few of the plays but never experienced the real thing.

I've been going through a tough time lately where I've been feeling out of sort with my life and disturbed at the way I've been reacting to things. I've been impatient and selfish. That's not my normal nature. I know that I've been struggling with sin and that's been causing problems. Today at Spiritual Growth Conference, I went forward and gave everything up to God. Do you know that I feel extremely clean? I saw an image of myself reaching down into my heart and pulling dark, dirty, garbage out and lifting it to the light and letting it be vaporized. I did this until nothing was left. What a feeling!

Just talked to my mother. Happy Birthday Mom! She told me a little more about the happenings in Madras. I was glad to get details 'cause I didn't have many details about what was going on. The church is getting discipled. Dad and Mom are loving and caring for the congregation and discipling them. Just keep praying. Madras is a hurting town and needs your prayers. Apparently there's been some intense spiritual warfare in the past, i.e. a cult trying to take it over, and there's a lot of oppression and poverty.

I think that's all for right now. God Bless!

This Breakpoint Commentary was interesting. What's funny is that we're watching some documentaries in psych that Dr. Zimbardo hosts. He's a good host.

So I worked outside today for community service day. I actually am feeling much better today than yesterday, and have more energy. I'm working in the Computer Lab for Kelli today. She had something to do tonight in Bend.

I think that's it for now. Adiso.

*bleh*

I am sick. The allergies turned into an infection. My ears are hurting and my throat is sore. It was getting bad towards the end of work yesterday and then I just felt really weak. I slept for an hour and a half, read some Psych for 2 hours (studying for a test), delivered the book to Josh in the Chapel and then cleaned. I slept fitfully and kept waking up sweating (and the A/c was on). I skipped Greek and Chapel this morning in favor of sleep. Then I showered and went to the psych class to take the test. I think I did okay, maybe got a 'B' or better. Hope so.

My brain is seriously dead right now... I tried to work on some school work and it just wasn't happening. I did get some of Dante's Inferno read. I think I'm going to enjoy this better than Paradise Lost - mainly because of the format (three lines and then a paragraph break.). It's easier on my eyes and easier to understand the weird language.

Wearing - An old gray fleece that my Aunt gave me four years ago, a red striped shirt that I got when I went to camp in '96 or '97, blue jeans, white socks, black shoes that squeak and that are falling apart, not to mention my usual watch and ring.

Listening to - Four other people typing, the computer fan.

Latest thoughts -

• I hate having a sore throat that makes talking hard.


• Wondering how long it will take Roy to make the gasket for my water pump and to get it installed.

Last blogger visited - Martha's. I can relate to the whole not eating right. I haven't eaten right in 2 years and I've put on the pounds. I also empathize with her general state of being right now. I'm going through some tough times with my walk with God and life is hard right now.

What would I do if I had 30 dollars right now to just totally blow? - I'd go to Sound and Spirit and do the 12 for 1 deal. I have a hankering for some new music.

Well, I think I'm done right now.

I just found an yearly post kinda updating about friends of mine and I'm going to go ahead and update again...

2002 - Josh I haven't talked to in almost a year...
2003 - One of the first people I called when I got to college was Josh W. He seemed to be doing okay, recovering from a relationship and going to college. That was in October, so I don't know how he's doing now...

2004 - Wonder what that family is up to? I need to go down to Idaho one of these days and visit Jerome.

2002 - Ryan hasn't talked to me in over a year.

2003 - Still haven't talked to him, but I did track down his cell. Now I just need to call him.

2004 - I'm thinking that this is a friendship that will be resumed if I see him again in person.

2002 - John emailed me alittle bit ago and I need to reply to him.

2003 - Hmmmm.... I don't know if I did, but we've had a bit of contact since then... in fact I think I may be calling him tonight...

Funny, I seem to have a case of owing John emails... Maybe I'll try calling him this week...

2002 - Kris has dissappeared off the face of the Net (wonder if I can track her down...)

2003 - I somehow got her number last July and talked to her for awhile. Unfortunately that was the last time I heard from her. Wonder how she's doing...

Let's see... I found her email address and talked to her about 6 months ago. Another person that I must call one of these days.

2002 - Nika... I really wonder how she's doing. She was rather down last time I talked to her.

2003 - There's one who I haven't been able to talk to. Lost her email and even if I had it, I wonder if I'll be able to get a correspondence going...

2004 - Don't know much about what's going on in her life... Jen's told me a bit, but not much...

2002 - Jen... I don't even have her email.

2003 - Well, I still don't have her email, but I do have her phone number... However I believe it's her turn to call me...

2004 - Yes, I actually have her email address now, though it took two years to get it... We actually talked last night after playing phone tag for a few months. Very nice conversation we had.

2002 - Chels I'll be seeing this weekend.

2003 - That was a really good weekend. Too bad I haven't really had much contact with her since she went to college. I need to find her number and track her down...

2004 - It's been since Christmas that I talked to Chels... I wonder if PCC is out yet for the summer...


2002 - Seth... Man... I wonder what's up with her!

2003 - still wondering. Sent an email, but I doubt she's still using that old email address.

2004 - found out that she posts on Cassie's blogger. commented a couple times with hints to have her send me an email. Never happened. *sniffs*

2002 - Cassie would know but I haven't received a reply from her in a month.

2003 - Yeah, she still owes me a letter...

2004 - Still owes me an email, but I doubt she has my email address anymore...

2002 - Kate... hmmmm... I wonder if she'd write me if I tried writing to her.

2003 - That worked for about two weeks.

2004 - Just learned that she's a radio newscaster! Congratulations! Oh, and she commented on one of the previous posts...

2002 - Lisa, man, I wonder what ever happened to our english girl?

2003 - Still wondering... Last I heard she was on a world-wide trip.

2004 - Actually talked on AIM over Christmas Break. She's alive and going to University. Pretty cool, actually!

2002 - Sneff, I miss you, girl! Come back..

2003 - Occaisional convos on aim, but only when I was home. Wonder what she's up to these days?

2004 - She's going to UOT, I think. Haven't talked to her in a very long time.

Friends added in 2003
Melissa - talked to her today, actually. She's a Princess of Wilbur! Very cool.

2004 - Haven't talked to her in about 2 or 3 weeks... Need to see how she's coping with the last few weeks of her senior year...

Anne - Did talk to her a bit over MSN over Christmas break and stopped at her college when I was in Seattle in march, but she wasn't there. Got her cell, so I ought to call her sometime...

2004 - Never did talk to her. Think I'll email her sometime.

Kali - Talked to her husband the other day, does that count?

2004 - I was just thinking about that family the other day. I have yet to see Courtney Jr. and he's almost a year old! I got an email from them about a month ago stating that they were going to drive through Eugene at some point, but I never did have any contact with them... *sniffs*

Hmmm... I was reading blogs and kept seeing comments about blogger's new look. So I had to sit down and log in. Can't say I'm too impressed, but it's workable. Thing is it looks like a whole lot of other sites. Their old look seemed unique to me. Oh well, we'll get used to it.

A Mouse Pad Couch
Duct Tape!!


Issue 32 of the old Ramblin' Irishman newsletter

Update: New link on sidebar. Check out Star Trek Dragon. My brother introduced this to me a few years ago and I've been reading the seasons off and on since then. Even if you're not a Star Trek fan, read the first few seasons and let the characters become friends. This is one of the best fan fictions that I've seen in my time of surfing.

I had a dream last night that I got my Greek test back with a big 33 on it. *shudders* That was a nightmare. This morning I actually got it back with an 86. I was relieved that my dream hadn't come true.

I can't believe that we only have a month left in the term! It's a wierd feeling to know that my second year has almost come to an end. I'm 21 and almost a junior. Very wierd feeling...

I've been struggling with allergies a lot this season. my eyes have been getting cloudy with gunk and are scratchy all the time. I've been taking an over the counter antihistamine, but it's not working too well. I wake up groggy and fighting the sleep in my eyes. thus it's been a month since I wore my right contact (or at least since my car has been broken). Not good 'cause it puts more strain on my left eye and that causes more issues. This isn't very fun...

Well, have a wonderful afternoon!

Cassy inspired me. She's sitting next to me in the library updating her blogger and that made me want to update my blogger.

Currently:

thinking - Nothing too profound, just had some future related thoughts bouncing around today. Such as: When will I get down to personell source to submit my resume and fill out an application for a summer job? What will that job be? Will I be in a call center like I want to be, or will I be flipping burgers? What will next year be like and how will being an RA change the atmosphere? Not to mention that I'll be a junior! The money situation is looking promising. There's some reward to being an RA and a PK, plus I'll probably get one scholarship and maybe even a grant. It's pretty cool how God is providing for me to stay here.

listening to - Cassy typing, fans whirring, subdued conversation from the table over in the corner.

projects - I have a Critical Review Psych paper due on the 20th that I decided to start working on. I really want to get a rough draft conceived and submitted to Dr. O. for correction to make sure I'm on the right track. I also have to finish working on my car.

friends - I've been realizing that I've withdrawn again into my little shell and haven't talked or hung out with different people besides Cassy and Josh for a long time. It's not good, 'cause I need other's imputs into my life and not just opinions that come from people who are like me. So I have been trying to sit with others at lunch and dinner. I sat with Sarah and Anna this afternoon and really enjoyed talking to them. It's worth it to sit with others.

Well, God Bless.