I have new shoes!! *grins* My church gave me some money and I went and took advantage of a 2 for $50 sale. I got some basketball shoes and some hiking shoes. Very cool. Now I can use my old shoes for just work.

Many things have been going through my mind lately. I've been thinking alot about the law and grace. I have a good friend who got sucked into thinking that the law has to be followed. It changed him and made him focus on the law instead of Jesus. That happened almost six months ago. Lately I've been thinking about it 'cause I've ha several conversations about that. Plus Miles H. came to town for awhile and he showed me some scriptures (most notably Gal. 3). I've known this is an issue for a long time, but it's just recently that I know that I need to study it out. So that's a goal for the next couple weeks.

I've also been struggling with fearing the responsibility of being an RA. I'm not confrontational and I am afraid that I'll have to be that way. Talk about getting me out of my comfort zone.

I hung out at my youth pastor's house Wednesday night after youth group. It turns out that he's going full time. God blessed them with two churches back east to support them. So we were talking about vision and structure and the fact that I want to be more involved. Once his job ends, he's going to have more time to prepare and help us be able to help him. I'm really excited about this.

I hung out at the Chi Alpha house last night. My friend Alisha (who lives there) and her boyfriend, Jim, were there and I got to talk with them and then watched My Big, Fat, Greek, Wedding. That was a funny movie!

Yes, I owe some emails... Hopefully this weekend I'll get around to writing.

Oh, I'm actually going to be able to go to Liz and Steve's in August. August 18th to the 25th to be precise (at least that's what'll work for me, I hope it'll work for them). The reason I'll be able to go is that I sold my old emachines computer for enough $$ to pay for gas and food. Me is happy!

I just immersed myself in movies. *grins* Ryan and Kristine let me stay at their house over the weekend while they were gone. I watched some very interesting films. Do you know that Bruce Willis is a very intense actor? Unbreakable is a very cool movie. Can you imagine finding out that you have some sort of super power and then becoming a hero? Spider Man deals with that, but I think this was a little more indepth and gut-wrenching. Willis is superb. It's a thriller so there's some intense scenes, but I liked it.

The funny thing about immersing myself in movies is that I come out with themes and plots intertwining. My dreams were very interesting last night.

I find it interesting (yes Martha, The Tree said it again) that I can just enter worlds through books and film and almost become a part of them. If I find a good book, I have a really hard time putting it down and I usually stick out movies. This seems to be a good way to escape reality for awhile, but I have found that it can cause me to forget about my relationship with God. That stinks. So I have to be careful about how much I watch or read.

Pastor Tony was talking about supporting one another and the impact we have on each other's lives. I have been having a hard time wanting to be with people these last few days and weeks. Something about summer just makes me want to isolate myself and not worry about the outside world. I've succeeded to a point. Problem is then I feel lonely and get mad at my friends who don't call me or hang out with me. Kinda a paradox eh? I realized as Tony was talking that I need to contact people and hang out with them. It's not just their responsibility. So, I asked several people about getting together this week. No definite times, but I will get together with someone this week.

Speaking of friends - I had a conversation yesterday on the phone that really uplifted me. I like knowing that there are people out there that believe in the same fashion as I do. Thanks.

I really, really, really, want to go to Liz's this next month. I don't know whether it'll work, but I'm hoping that the money will come in and I'll be able to spend a few days with them. Steve and I have a lot to cover.

I'm really learning to trust in God for provision. He's provided friends to buy groceries, the school lets me work off my rent as well as giving me some more hours for a paycheck. Even though I'd like a 40 hour a week job and I'd like to be financially stable, I'm being provided for. I have a bed to sleep in, air conditioned room, and something to do. It's a good thing God provides.

Speaking of provision - I'd like to ask for prayer for my family. Our church is having some financial problems. Just pray.

BTW this story is interesting. David, you'll like it.

Crystal just posted about wanting roots and being tired of moving around so much. I can completely relate. My family has moved around soooo much, and there are times that I've wanted some place where I can put my roots down and stay for longer than two years. I know God wants me to stay in college for the duration and so I'll be here for the full four years. After that I have no clue what I'll be doing.

I hope that God sets it up for me that I'll be able to stay in one place and raise my kids, but ya know, if I'm called to move around, than I will.

Well, I still don't have a job. I asked Joe V. if I could have more hours to get some money as well as pay for my rent. I don't know what's going to happen so...

What's funny is that I have been praying about this and even if I don't get a job, I know God will provide for me. No traveling, but I'll be fed.

God's been doing some rebuilding in my life. I finally was honest with my parents about something that I had hid for a long time. It's worked out good. (Dad, I'll be sending you a reply soon). I really feel that this was a necessary step and it really helped me unload my heart. God's got something really cool in store for me...

I am really glad Steve is in the states. I've been talking to him more and we've had some really good conversations. I really think that he and I have some sort of connection.

Well, I'm going... tata

I'm pink. Or at least my shoulders are. Sleeveless shirt in the sun for 7 hours of mowing produces a nice shade of pink (and pain). *grins* I told myself that I wouldn't get a sunburn this year... Too bad I wasn't able to keep that vow.

I've been working on math the last few days. Monday I spent a long time on it, worked for the college yesterday, and today I've been working on it off and on the entire day. I took the Unit test and didn't do very good. I think, since I spaced out my lessons with a week break between the first half and the second half, that I didn't have all the info fresh in my mind. One more unit and then onto the project and final. This week is pretty much dedicated to finishing this course. I want to get it done.

I've also been reading the Silmarillian. I was able to get a copy of it while up in Butte. Now I need the Hobbit and Unfinished Tales.

The last few days I've been addicted to Wheel of Fortune and Jeoporady. There's a guy who has been champion for 30 days! The guy is smart! and fast! I feel sorry for the other contestants. He's won over a million now. Some of these things I know, but a lot I don't. How do you prepare for Jeoporady? I suppose reading an encyclopedia would be good...

I am totally wired. I don't know why 'cause I was up at four am pacific time and had a long trip. But I just got done with reading the twenty or so bloggers I frequent and I can't believe how much goes on in the two weeks I haven't read some of them. wow.

The most talked about event was Brian and Abbey's wedding. Realm3 has a good description of it as does Jen. Heidi did a good job of describing the people (thanks, Heidi). I missed out. The pictures that they took and the descriptions of how much fun they had make me long to be with these people. Even though I haven't met all of them in person, I feel like they are family and I just want to be with my family. One of these days...

Anyways... Got a new mugshot. It's cropped from this. This was taken a long time ago (we went back in time).

Hi Guys! I'm back, well sorta. See I am in Madras after a 13 hour road trip and I need to be in Eugene. David's going to drive me over on Saturday and then I'll truly be back. In the meantime I wrote an ongoing blogger post over the week and I think you'll enjoy it. It's long and I challange you to finish it! *laughs manically*

7/4/2004 1:12 PM

Where shall I start?

After I got back from Madras, I was able to immediately move into the other room. It took me two days to be able to get all of my stuff moved out and get the room cleaned out. Then I took a week to job hunt, work on my external study (College Algebra – easy stuff), and do some hanging out with my friends. I got about a third of the Algebra done.

I found out my grades for Spring Term:
General Psychology – A+
Beginning Greek III – A-
Introduction to Literature – A
Small Group Dynamics – A-

Term GPA = 4.0 Cumulative GPA = 3.75

I was extremely happy! For once in my college career I got a 4.0! I’ll be aiming for it of course, but I’m going to be extremely busy next year being an RA with everything else going on.

I found out from April during the few days we were hanging out that she was heading to Michigan to live at her parent’s home. I examined her route and it turned out that she was going through Butte, which is where my mother’s mother lives. We had two options – either she’d be able to spend the night at my Grandma’s or I’d be able to go with her. Turned out that my family was going to be there for sort of a reunion over the fourth. I was in limbo over the weekend trying to decide whether to go with April or to stay home. Plus I’m still trying to get a job. I did a little job hunting on Monday and decided that if I didn’t get a job by Tuesday, I’d go up to Portland with April. Well, by Tuesday evening I didn’t have a job, so I prayed, felt like I needed to be able to see my family, and told April I was going with her.

So we left April’s house at 11am or so and drove up to her sister’s in Portland. Well, things weren’t exactly peachy. There was a lot of tension going on and it was a bit awkward. Autumn was in the middle of a move so we decided not to stay with her. I called my friend from college, Rebekah who lives in Hermiston, and asked if we could stay the night there. She talked to her family and they were positive about it. We left around 5:30 and got to Bekah’s at 9:30. April went to bed early, but I talked with Bekah and her mom until midnight. It was a lot of fun!

We left at 5:30am and drove to Butte via Spokane. That was a blast ‘cause I’m very familiar with that route. Seeing the different scenery and getting to drive on roads I was familiar with allowed me to relive memories. We got to Butte around 4:30 or so. April took a nap and I got to visit with my grandmother. Mom, Dad, and David, got here at 9 or 10ish and we all went to bed.

April left early after Dad looked at her van to make sure it was tripworthy. That was Friday. Today is Sunday and I got a call from her earlier with the news she was home without mishap. I’m happy ‘cause I was a bit worried about her traveling without anyone else, but God protected her.

Speaking of memories – I’ve been reliving a lot of memories. Just being in this house where we lived for 3 ½ years and visited over and over again. I walked the old neighborhood and remembered playing with my friends. We also went to one of the churches we attended here. Turns out it’s been 17 years since we’d left.

7:07 PM

They had remodeled the old school where they have the church, but other than the fact that it seemed smaller to me, it was the same church. The pastor of 2years, did a good sermon about the Lord’s Supper with various tangents about living a Christ-like life. After the service, we talked with various people we knew from those long gone days. There were some girls who were around my same age that I barely remembered. What’s funny is that there was a connection with Eugene and the Chi Alpha ministry there. Of course, those that remembered us were amazed at my growth. *grins* Amazing what 17 years of growth can do…

We ended up talking the pastor and his wife for at least an hour after everyone else left. It was a good experience and there was insight on both sides. It made me think about my internship I have to do next year. It might be possible for me to help out there next summer. Once I find out the details about the internship and also scope out whether my church in Eugene would be able to have me there, I’ll write some letters and do some praying. One positive thing is that I’d be able to stay with my Grandmother, thus, unless she wants me to, forgoing rent. It’s definitely a possibility, though from force of habit, I don’t want to make plans. *grins*

We had a good Fourth of July picnic just about an hour ago. It was chicken, potato salad, regular salad, and watermelon. Very good food!

9:20 PM

Just a note – I’m in Mountain Time right now, but all of the times in this entry are Pacific times.

Butte is known for it’s love of the Fourth. They usually have a large parade and a pretty good fireworks show. Last night was the show and this morning was the parade. The thing about the people in Butte is that they love to spend money on fireworks and they buy some that are really nice. We just spent 30 to 45 minutes outside watching the neighborhood fireworks. It’s amazing the amount that people buy! Now I’m not against fireworks, but it seems like buying a lot of them (think $500 worth, or more) is a waste of money. When I have kids, I’ll probably buy some, but I’m not going to spend a lot on them. Moderation is my motto. *grins*

7/7/2004 7:19 AM

Dad, David, and I went to Lewis and Clark Caverns yesterday. It’s about an hour out of Butte in some very pretty hills. The cave is ¾ of a mile from the visitor’s center and they run tours through it. The whole trip took a couple hours or so and was a blast!

Today we’re going to Virginia City.

Okay, so we went to VC and had a great time! It's a tourist trap, but still interesting. The highlight was what I'll post as soon as I get it uploaded.

All in all it was a very great trip! I'm glad to be home and relaxing.