Something BJ said prompted me to think. Why do I want to study? Is it because I have been a student for too long? This is something that the teachers at EBC were constantly pushing this last school year - be a life long learner. Take your time and use it to further your knowledge of God's World and Him.
I have realized something about myself: One, I do desire to continue learning, to delve deep into subjects and concepts. Two, I have problems doing it on my own. This leads into a problem I've always had: Self determination. I have issues meeting goals that I set for myself. This can lead to apathy and procrastination. But I still desire to push my self, to stretch the limits and to learn as much as my brain can hold.
So picture this: I'm like the lazy grasshopper and the industrious ant (to reference Aesop, at least I think that's Aesop...). One side of me is lazy and enjoys dilly-dallying (as my dad would put it) my time away. This side is obcessed with reading novels, watching movies, and eating. He puts other worlds before the real one. Then there's the ant side of my personality. This guy wants to succeed, he knows that life is fleeting and that time is something to be valued and used wisely. This is the side that enjoyed school, that enjoyed reading those textbooks. This is the side that really wants to learn Greek so that he can teach it to others. This is the personality who could possibly sit down and write a book sometime in the future. This is the side that takes the time to call friends and who cares about listening to their problems. Most importantly this is the side of me that delves deep into God and tries to get closer and closer to Him.
It's like a dichotomy (isn't that a good word?) in my soul. Come to think about it, it is. There's a battle between my human, selfish, soul, and the spirit of God. The grasshopper in me is just thinking about himself, but the ant in me thinks about others.
I want to be the ant.
I have realized something about myself: One, I do desire to continue learning, to delve deep into subjects and concepts. Two, I have problems doing it on my own. This leads into a problem I've always had: Self determination. I have issues meeting goals that I set for myself. This can lead to apathy and procrastination. But I still desire to push my self, to stretch the limits and to learn as much as my brain can hold.
So picture this: I'm like the lazy grasshopper and the industrious ant (to reference Aesop, at least I think that's Aesop...). One side of me is lazy and enjoys dilly-dallying (as my dad would put it) my time away. This side is obcessed with reading novels, watching movies, and eating. He puts other worlds before the real one. Then there's the ant side of my personality. This guy wants to succeed, he knows that life is fleeting and that time is something to be valued and used wisely. This is the side that enjoyed school, that enjoyed reading those textbooks. This is the side that really wants to learn Greek so that he can teach it to others. This is the personality who could possibly sit down and write a book sometime in the future. This is the side that takes the time to call friends and who cares about listening to their problems. Most importantly this is the side of me that delves deep into God and tries to get closer and closer to Him.
It's like a dichotomy (isn't that a good word?) in my soul. Come to think about it, it is. There's a battle between my human, selfish, soul, and the spirit of God. The grasshopper in me is just thinking about himself, but the ant in me thinks about others.
I want to be the ant.
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