I don't understand it. I should be dead tired right now. But I'm not. I'm still awake and active (mentally, not really physically). See, yesterday I woke up after 5 1/2 hours of sleep at 5:45. Today, I woke up after 5 hours of sleep at 5:30 (not by choice, I was going to wake up at 6 'cause of a meeting at 6:30 but I woke up wide awake. which doesn't happen!). You'd think after a long day on such little sleep, I would hit the sack, but no, I'm still awake... Maybe my body is getting used to little sleep and early mornings. That'd be a first.

I am so looking forward to our college career retreat! We talked about it more today and it's going to be awesome!

Well, It is almost 11 and I'm going to do a bit more on the internet and then head to bed.

I was watching previews on Quicktime and this looks interesting. A Documentary on kids serving Christ. Sounds interesting.

It makes me think about camp... Are camps effective? Do they really change lives and teach kids about the way to live?

In my life, yeah, I think camp did effect me. I didn't go to kids camp, but when I was 13 I finally went to camp. I really look upon that time as a rededication to God, as a kick in the pants that really made my faith my own. I don't remember much about the sermons, or discussions. What I do remember is being met by God and being enveloped by Him. Just being in His Presence was amazing.

However, I have heard horror stories about camps where kids bring drugs, have sex, and generally don't come for the purpose of the camp. There are also the camps where the games get out of hand and the kids are endangered by that (I'm thinking about ultimate frisbee with a raw chicken).

What should the purpose of camp be? Is it a time to be crazy, without your parents around, and attempting to stretch your limits (morally, physically, and mentally)? Or should it be a time of disciplined searching for God and becoming closer to Him? I would prefer the latter, though most camps have some element of the former.

Will I let my kids go to camp? I really don't know. I guess it depends on the reputation of the person who organizes it.

What do you think?

David and I had fun this evening. First, because last time I went to Shari's I randomly received a coupon for $7.00 off the next meal, I treated David to dinner. Funny thing happened there. This gal, Kelli, our watress, looked at me and swore I was a friend of hers, name of John. I smiled, and said, "I am John." She had a look of shock on her face. No, I wasn't the same person, but apparently I do look like him. I got a kick out of that...

We talked ourselves into going to the buck fifty to see Cars. Just before going in, I needed to get some cash, so we ducked into Target and got some candy. While there, we ran into Eddie and Vjera. Chatted with them a bit and then went back to the theater. Now, going to the buck fifty I always have my eyes open to see if anyone that I know is there. On the way in, I didn't see anyone, but in the restroom I saw TJ. We hung out for a few minutes in the theater with him and his wife and nephews. That was really cool. Turns out they're moving.

But it was funny how I first saw someone who I didn't know, but she thought she knew me, then to run into two sets of friends... It's a sign that I've put down roots and have developed a lot of relationships. Very cool.

OH, and Cars was great. I was impressed with the moral of the story and the theme of teamwork. Only thing though... I swear the car parked opposite us grinned at me!

Switching gears (yes, pun intended)...

The interview was interesting. I had no idea what kind it would be. The last few I've taken weren't all that grilling and stressful, but I was prepared for being grilled. And I was grilled. I think I may have second guessed myself a couple times, but on the most part I was confident. Since confrontation is a weak point in my past life and behaviour, that came out, but I think I stressed that I have grown in that area.

I really want to work there. It's clean, professional, and a job I would really enjoy.

I'll know in a couple of weeks.

Teen Challenge Thrift Store... October is when I'll be working there and I haven no clue what my hours will be like. Shopko actually scheduled me for 32 hours next week. I work Monday through Thursday on Closing shift, and Friday on Opening. That makes Friday night my only free night. If Shopko keeps this up, I may be working Saturdays at Teen Challenge.

Strange... Just a little while ago I was itching for more hours, now, I want fewer Shopko hours and more Teen Challenge hours... Oh well, we shall see.

So Blogger was being weird yesterday and my last post didn't publish.

Basically, today I have an interview at Symantec! It's for a call center position, 40hours a week! Pray for me around 3pm. This would be a great job for me and my bills.

I finished filling out the Teen Challenge application yesterday and took it into the Thrift Store this morning. Apparently as soon as they get the background check done, I'll be working. So I now am the owner of two jobs! *laughs*

But here's the kicker... I just got an interview with Symantec's call center for a forty-hour job. Tomorrow at 3. This is my dream job, 'cause I've experienced call center work before and enjoyed it. If I get this job, obviously I have some decisions to make as far as the other jobs go. I will probably quit Shopko, but Teen Challenge is a different situation. I'm feeling like God dropped this into my lap for a reason and I want to follow it through.

That depends on the interview tomorrow.

Please pray.

Philippians 2:1-11

1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Ethical Egoists (those who believe in everything serving the pupose of advancing yourself, that life is looking out for Number 1) would have a horrible time with this passage. Paul is advocating unity, but this is a deeper unity than one made from words on a document, or a treaty. This is a unity based in lov; Ghrist's love for us, but also our love for others. This unity is born out of the attitude that Christ had towards us.

Christ set aside his deity, his power and went humbly to the cross. John 18, 19 tell the story of that process and the people Jesus was surrounded by. He knew that all he had to do was speak and He'd go free. Yet He also saw the sin and the need for redemption. He looked on the sinners around Him and He looked at us and thought about us before Himself. Paul says that we are to have that attitude, that selflessness.

I don't know about you, being selfless is difficult. Over the years I have attempted to develop that attitude of thinking about others before myself and of loving and caring for those around. Yet I keep coming back to selfishness, to putting my needs and wants above others. If it's not he selfishness of being prideful of my academics, it's serving because then I get a pat on the back, or even the self pity that I can drop into. It all comes from putting my desires first.

Don't get me wrong, being selfless is not debasing myself. In fact, in Christ I find the very thing that makes my self worth something. It's when my self becomes more important than Jesus, than the love that should be a part of me as a child of God.

Okay, so let's take this wider... If individuals took the love of Christ seriously and started to act on it, the world would look different. Roommates wouldn't fight about chores, Baptists and Pentecostals wouldn't make doctrine such a divisive thing, and we'd care about those people on the street.

Challenge: Look at your life today. Where are you caring about yourself more than others? How do you develop the attitude of Christ in that area?

My friends Robert and Jody had an extra cookbook and when they learned I cooked, they brought me this one. I'm so happy! *grins*

I think I'm under attack.

Last week was awesome! I had several people over for meals, etc. Spent time with them and felt like I was ministering. Sunday church was good and I was renewed. I talked with a guy who wanted to get an application for EBC and I offered to pick it up. Then I went to Matt and Mandy's and helped with a piano. Then I went and picked up my friend Spencer from his apartment and got to CCG late. That was okay. We worshiped and listened to what God did with Rachel and Amber in Africa. Prayed, and that was my sunday.

The rest of the week has been tough. I've been not sleeping well and waking up feeling tired. I might be getting sick. But I'm also mentally distracted. I can't focus on anything. Plus, I'm sad 'cause I haven't heard from some friends in awhile and feel ignored. (This is a symptom of being attacked, 'cause I normally don't go into self-pity, but occasionally I do and then when my friends aren't there to talk to, I get hurt easier. Annoying as heck, 'cause I don't like feeling this way.)

I think I know why I'm being attacked... Because I am starting in on this internship and getting to minister. This state of mind, of physical being, almost always happens when I'm starting to walk in the ministry of God. I really need prayer. And I'd appreciate phone calls too.

I really don't know what to do. I'm sitting here with Derek Webb playing and I'm trying to think of something intelligent and/or witty to say. Nothing's coming...

I've been working and ministering this week. It's really cool how my ministry is coming together and how I'm getting to spend time with people and care for them. I am totally stoked for this school year and the college group.

That's about it.

Where do you see yourself in five years? Or more importantly, who do you want to be in five years?

This requires plans. I have tried and tried to plan my life out, yet God changes things on me over and over again. I'm lucky if I know what I'm doing six months from now.

That said, I do have some ideas and goals of where I want to be.

First is my education. If you've read my previous post of a week or two ago, you know that I'm thinking about furthering my education and getting a Master's. Regent University has many schools and among them is a School of Divinity. The programs that are catching my interest are the New Testament Studies and the Church Doctrine and History degrees. I'm seriously thinking about a joint degree. Obviously that would extend my stay in Virginia. Three years or so is what I'm expecting.

So in five years I want to have a Masters of Arts in one or both of those fields.

Second is my ministry, more specifically my vocational ministry.

While at Regent's, I really want to be on staff at a church. If it requires being a youth pastor (even though that's not really my calling) so be it. At the end of my time in Virginia I'll be looking into positions in the Northwest. I am called to the NW, no doubt about that, and we'll see where God sets me up.

In Five years I hope to be either an associate or senior pastor in either Oregon, Washington, Idaho, or Montana.

Third is relationship.

I want to get married. No prospects at the moment and I'm just trying to be content in the path I'm in. I'm free to look, but don't necessarily feel ready to. Not that I'm not keeping my eyes open.

In Five years I want to be married to a woman of God who has her eyes fixed on God and is serving Him wholeheartedly.

And these are all plans, made by me. If God does something in my heart and tells me to skip the Masters, I will. If He calls me to stay in Virginia, then I will. If He wants me to start a church in a year or so, then I will.

Now, Sarah, it's your turn. Answer your question.

A friend of mine posted a question on her blog... Where do you see yourself five years from now?

I've been ruminating on that for awhile now. I don't know exactly how to answer it. I'll think about it a little more and post some sort of answer tomorrow.