I've been trying to figure out what to post on here. Life's been tough and I never know exactly how much I should share to the wide world.

Yesterday I would have been all negative and depressed because I was in a funk. I pretty much moped around, feeling sorry for myself and wasn't doing so good. Today though, I woke up with some energy and a slightly better attitude.

I still feel at a loss as to what I'm supposed to be doing. As of this morning I have put in 23 resumes/applications, I have had 5 interviews and no call backs. I'm watching my credit card balance increase and I'm getting rather depressed because of where I am.

Spiritually, the last few weeks have been interesting. I went to Seattle under an attempt to follow God's leading and to be willing to be radical. That was a very positive experience. Plus I'm spending a lot of time with friends that I normally wouldn't be spending a lot of time with. Otherwise though, I'm feeling like I'm floating. I think I have two choices and either one is right. Go to South Africa (and probably do a YWAM DTS) or go to George Fox to work on my masters. Both appeal to me. Both are good things to do. Both would allow me to reach others and grow.

I look at these options and I wonder whether it's me who is presenting these or God.

Oh, and here's an interesting thing I'm learning about myself... I seem to rely a lot on what other's hear from God and not what God is directly saying to me. Now don't get me wrong, I like hearing wise counsel from others. But it seems like I've come to the place where, when I want to do something, I rely on what other's tell me, rather than what God is telling me.

I think confused is a good way to describe me right now.

So I decided on a new look. Don't think it's going to stay this way for long, but hey, at least it's a change. Also going with Blogger's comments so you'll have to register with Blogger in order to say something. I could do anomynous (sp?) but that'd leave me open to spammers.

I love my friends! We had a prayer time for those dealing with finals. Then, after a little bit we headed over to Allan Bros to get drinks. It was extremely crowded, so we headed over to the Rose garden. After walking around (Luke and I mourned the fact we didn't have our cameras), seeing where Jack and Lisa had a special moment, and looking at the oldest cherry tree in the country (right? Not county?), we then proceeded to play Duck, Duck, Goose! Yes, in public. Surpriseingly, I didn't feel embarrassed or juvenile. Abby, you're right, this game rocks!

I've been trying to think of words that describe my week: Boring. Adrenilian rush. Nervousness. Confidence. Maybe a bit of laziness thrown in there too. Oh, can't forget laughter, or prayer.

I filled out two online apps on Monday and got a call for interviews for both of them on Wednesday. They went well. I'm just waiting for a call back.

In my down time I've been doing lots of video game playing. Joe let me borrow his xbox and I've been playing Halo 2 and Oddworld. Very interesting games. I'm hooked for right now.

I also finally cleaned the living room yesterday. My friends were coming over and I wanted that at least that looking nice. I got the bathroom and kitchen done today. Sometime tomorrow I hope to attack my pigstye of a bedroom... *grins*

Oh, I'm visiting George Fox Monday. Going to see how their grad program works. Still not sure it's what God wants, but it seems like a good possibility. We'll see what I think when I return.

Tuesday I have another interview. Please pray that it goes well. Also pray that I'll get a job very soon. Things are a bit tight and bills are coming due.

I'm going to apply to a couple of other places as well, so we'll see how that works out.