Communication

I've been thinking about Communication lately, what its purpose is, what role it plays in relationships with others and in churches, and why it's so difficult.

First off, what is communication? Dictionary.com says that communication is: the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs. It's taking your thoughts, your ideas, and your opinions and expressing them outside of your head. It can be by writing a blog, by writing a card or letter, by calling someone, by going for coffee, a multitude of things that have one thing in common: It's outside of your head.

There are real problems with effectively communicating what goes through our head. We can be scared, feel like what we say is ineffective, that we're not being listened to, that we don't want to hurt feelings, that there are barriers of all sorts set up against us. These can be legitimate concerns. As humans, we don't communicate well. Listening, expressing what we hear back to the other person, even acting on what is communicated, is extremely tough. And every time we're not listened to, when someone blows us off and totally ignores us, we can think that what we have to say is worthless. Then, if we need to say something to either the same person or someone else, we have that previous experience(s) hanging over us.

We can't let these things stop us from communicating. In order to live together, both as just being humans, but also as Christians, we have to break past barriers in order to communicate Jesus and his love with others. Dealing with issues is one of the communication problems that we don't handle so well.

We've all seen it, churches torn apart because people either don't communicate and deal with the issues or they communicate lies. Instead of viewing each other through God's eyes, communicating through love and acceptance instead of hurt and anger, we wall up and let little things bother us. Those little things fester and start to add up. And then either the people quit coming, disappearing without talking about what's going on, or they start sowing seeds of dissension.

It takes guts to communicate problems. Especially when you're a Christian. You want to do it in love and you want to be tactful. So here's the dilemma - how long do you wait to discuss an issue?

Obviously, prayer is important. Without God's input, without knowing what He desires, we can't effectively communicate what's going on. Filtering that issue through the Word, and through Him is vital. Sometimes, we don't have to say anything because it's our issue and God points it out to us. Other times it is something that has to be talked through and dealt with.

Timing is important as well. This is where we need to have a sense of what God wants. This is also where we watch what's happening in the other person's life. This is where we need to be careful.

Being tactful is another important aspect of dealing with issues. Don't just flat out, in a blustery, harsh manner say what your problem is. No, do this right, do it in a loving manner, a kind manner, being willing to hear the other side.

Listen to what the person has to say and be willing to compromise and work through things. If we're not willing to change, then how can we expect others to change?

Don't expect quick fixes.

That's the confrontation side of communication.

If we are going to show the love of God to the world, we have to learn to communicate. What we say matters. For some of us, it means shutting up, letting others talk and only talking when we can say something of importance. For others, it's being bold, being willing, even if we're not completely sure of what we're going to say, to speak up, opening our mouths and letting our thoughts spill out.

My challenge to you is to communicate. Don't let issues get in the way of connecting with each other and with God. There is a lot out there for us and we can enjoy it together.

Just so you all know, if you are in a picture I post and don't like it or don't like me posting a picture of you, please tell me. Thanks - jc